On Breathing Hopes


Drawing by yours truly. Follow me on IG  www.instagram.com/christinemagpayo/


A love letter to my 4-year old self

Hello little girl,

It’s okay if you cried again in school today. I know you’re scared of new things and new people, but all fears fade away, believe me.

Don’t worry too much about monsters hiding inside the closets or under your bed. I have never seen one in those places. The truth about monsters is they often disguise as friends. They will hold your hand, and hug you tight, and promise to never ever leave your side until they have the power to break your heart. They are all around so be very, very, very careful on who you trust and love.

Please promise me three things. First, promise me you won’t feel bad about not being liked. You will grow up to be a smart, strong, and beautiful person inside-out. More than anyone else, it’s you who have to believe that. Second, promise me you will always trust your gut. Many people will tell you many different things. Don’t ever doubt that voice inside. Third and last, promise me you will never ever let the world make you hard. Even if life tries to break you, promise me that you will always try your best to be kind. Be kind to everyone, including yourself.

Little girl, be brave every day. You will be proud of yourself someday.


A love letter to my 60-year old self

It’s all stop signs from here.

Being an adult feels like EDSA traffic during Christmas season–frustrating. I pretty much know what I’m doing and where I’m going but all the traffic lights seem to be stuck in red. If there’s any consolation in feeling trapped, perhaps it’s the fact that even the people on my left and on my right are also in the same muddled state. We are all challenged to be patient. Waiting is indeed suffering, but I find solace thinking that at least I am on the right road.  Most of us are still lost.

Hey, I’ve been dying to know. Did you get there? Did you become everything we have always hoped to be? If yes, then I’m proud of you. If not, I forgive you. I forgive us.