Of Hopes and Apologies

photo from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/306878162086370923/

photo from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/306878162086370923/ (drawing by Kinchoi Lam)

 

“Nobody gets through life
without losing a few things on the way.”
{Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things}

 

(An open letter to the good friend I lost three years ago)

I am sorry. I am terribly sorry for hurting this bad that made me invalidate your efforts to patch things up. No, I am not apologizing for how I felt. I am apologizing because my process of healing required me to completely shut you off and that may have hurt you as well. No need for fault-finding or forcing things back. We tried and failed at both and have already come to terms with it.

In case you’re wondering. I’m good. And I think you are too. We gained better friends after giving up on what we have been meaning to fix. We gave better attention to other people who are definitely more deserving of our time and efforts. We had better dispositions since then. Basically, we became better people. We actually owe each other gratitude and I have high hopes that one day gratitude outweighs regret.

For now I want to thank you for making me realize that I am capable of shedding out a ton of varied intense emotions for one single human soul. You do your thing and I’ll do mine and who knows, a few years from now the universe might decide to grant us kind permission to pick up where we left off and actually let us be the bestest friends we could have been years back. If not, I guess that’s alright.

We were great. And nothing great ever fades away. Remember that.

 

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