The Good in Goodbye

a page from my very inspiring 2014 CBTL planner

“But you may find that you, too, have changed while you were waiting. You may no longer fit the puzzle you left…”

Thought Catalog

Here’s the thing about goodbyes: it’s actually always a good one.

You only deny the good in goodbye because you think you’re afraid of separations. You’re not. It’s not the image of people walking in opposite directions that frightens you, but the idea of them never meeting again. Or choosing to never meet again. It’s never the parting that hurts, but the probability of being forgotten. And replaced. Goodbyes are okay. It’s the possible aftermath that’s painstakingly ugly.

Try to imagine a world with no goodbyes. No handshakes, no hugs, no kisses, no sweet utterances, no tears and pricking from the inside. No anything worth having. A world where only ‘the being there’ is all that matters. It seems so static and dead, doesn’t it? Now I think I finally understand why goodbyes and endings are necessary. We say goodbye so we could better know how to love. Come to think of it, it’s much easier to recognize love in the lens of loss. Loss tinged with hope.

How many spoken goodbyes have you heard all your life? How many beloveds simply moved on without saying a word? How many made an impression? How many do you just want to burn in the ground? And how many do you still hope to return?

So you leave so many doors half-open. Part of you yearns for them to come back and stay for good. Yet part of you just wants them to drop by and just tell you straight in the face that there’s no more ‘See you next time.’ You need any of those so you can finally shut the doors you’ve left open for too long. ‘Cause deep inside you already feel sick of turning and waiting at the center of too many half-open doors. You already feel stupid leaving them all opened even when you’ve already forgotten which doors lead to what places or if these doors actually lead to somewhere other than a dead end.

Maybe it’s time to say goodbye to those doors. Maybe it’s time to say goodbye to yourself as well. To your old self. To the one who waited. To the one who hoped for nothing. To the one who got hurt.  The grandest of all goodbyes.

Maybe it’s by time you realize that life is inseparable from painful goodbyes because it is inseparable from love. Maybe it would help to keep in mind that though life doesn’t give you the choice to walk away from pain, it gives you the option to walk with it. So walk with pain heads up. Be its master. Tame it when it needs to be tamed. Use it to your advantage. Because you can. Say goodbye to anything or anyone or any part of you that tells you otherwise.

Here’s the thing about goodbyes: it’s actually always a good one.

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