One moment, I was hanging by the thread of hope.
The next moment, I find myself falling,
in a cold, dark abyss. The pull of gravity seems to have doubled and it’s dragging me down as fast as it can. I’m both restless and helpless. And I’m scared. I’m scared that when I hit the bottom of this seemingly endless chasm, I won’t get to feel my bones break, I won’t get to see myself bleed. I’m afraid I might be numbing myself to death. I’m frightened by the thought that the nothingness of time and space will penetrate my soul and take away every inch of hope I have before it consumes me. I’m terrified that soon, nothingness and I will become one.
I close my eyes. I summon all the dreams I ever dreamt. In a jiffy, I was in a completely different world.
I see myself flying and battling with dragons. I am nowhere near safe. But I feel alive… and happy. I’ve always wanted to fly. And to be brave enough to fight dragons. And now, I am. I try to catch my breath as I duel with the demons. The bruises and cuts on my skin— they keep me going. I’m winning! I’m winning! I…
won. I won. I won! I hear the crowd cheer for me. I am their hero, they say. I can only shed a tear and shake my head in disbelief. So, I can save people by simply doing what I’ve always wanted to do. That’s the loveliest realization that ever occurred to me. But before I could allow myself to be engulfed by that blissful moment, reality’s waking me up. Time to go back, it said.
I open my eyes. I’m no longer a hero. But I’m not falling either. It was all in my head. It was just me after all.
I’m hanging by the thread of hope. I know which end I’m choosing. I know where I’m going. I’m getting there as fast as I could.