When Numb Met Love

photo from deviantart.com

photo from deviantart.com

 

Today’s the big day. No more waiting. No more wasting time.
You see, Love isn’t the best detective in town.
I should have figured that out a long, long time ago.
Unless I pay for advertising space with my name and contact details,
Love would not find me.

In fact, Love does not find anyone who just sits in one corner.

Today, I am going to look for Love.
Or at least I’ll go out and help him find me.
And when we’re already standing face to face,
I will take a good look at him.
Then I will hold his hand so tight, but careful enough not to hurt him.
I will pull him close— close enough to hear his heartbeat,
And not just hear it, but feel it as well—
Feel it beating in sync with mine.
Then I’ll whisper “I’m so glad to have found you.
I will stay here for the rest of my life.”

That is the plan.

Which, I think will be messed up the moment I see Love.
Maybe I’d look like a stalker. Or a pervert. Or a lunatic.
And before I even get close to Love, I’d have already scared him away.
If Love finally decides to show up, I wish he’d be wearing a name tag.
Or at least be kind enough to hand me his calling card
So I’ll recognize him when he arrives.

Searching for Love is a downright crazy idea. It really is.
Looking for something almost always means leaving something behind.
And that’s not always a bad thing.
In fact, that’s what I’m doing.  When I step out of this house,
I will be walking away from  the ones I have known all my life—

Doubt: a young lady always stuck between her best friend, Fear,
and her admirer, Courage;
Bliss and Romance, always glued together while
Jealousy eyes them aimlessly;
Old Lady, Regret, always resting on her rocking chair,
eyes fixated on the heavens;
earnestly hoping that Loss would return
while her husband, Patience, watches over her every single day.

Oh such fools! I pity them.
Today, I have made the best decision ever — I will leave this place.
I will look for Love and I will find him! I will look for Love and I will find him!
Yes, that is my mantra. I will look for Love and I will—
“Don’t go. Please don’t go.”
My thoughts were interrupted by a voice I heard from nowhere.
I looked around and saw a man standing
just about two steps away from me.
“Please don’t go.”  He repeated.

“Excuse me. Do we happen to know each other?” I asked.
“I know you. I’m not sure if you know me,” he answered,
His voice quite low and calm
“We have been living in the same house for some time.” He added.

“Who are you? How come it’s the first time I saw you?” I asked.
A crooked smile formed on his face.
“That’s strange. Honestly, I hardly know myself.
But I have known you all my life.
I was just always too scared to talk to you.
It’s like you’re too happy on your own. I didn’t want to bother.
You’re so close yet always out of reach.”

And then there’s this moment. These dreadful times when
you run out of words to say and nothing seems to be worth saying
but you just have to say something.

“You don’t have to say anything.” he said.
I let out a sigh of relief.
“You’re pretty.” he remarked. “You’re weird.” I teased.
“Now you’re talking to me. It’s like… a miracle.”
I could only smile and stare at him.

“Please don’t go.” He said once more.
And now his words seemed haunting.
“I can’t. I’m looking for someone. But you can go with me.” I offered.
“I can’t. I am the caretaker of this house.
Doubt, Courage, Fear, Bliss, Romance, Jealousy, Regret, and Patience—
I am responsible for them.” He replied.

“So I guess this is goodbye.” I mused.

“If it pleases you.” He caught my gaze.

Today, I met a stranger who hardly knows himself.
We talked for what seemed to me as a lovely eternity.
We were standing face to face.
I took a good look at him.
I held his hand so tight, but careful enough not to hurt him.
I pulled him close— so close that I heard his heartbeat,
And not just heard it, but felt it as well—
felt it beating in sync with mine.
And I whispered “I’m so glad to have met you.
If only I can stay here for the rest of my life.”

He let me go and I walked away, never turning to look at him again.
Today’s the big day. No more waiting. No more wasting time.
I am going to find Love.

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